WhenJames Van Der Beekannounced on Oct. 7 that he and wifeKimberlywereexpecting their sixth child, theDancing with the Starsfrontrunner also used the opportunity to call attention to another deeply personal experience.
“It’s so hard, but it’s important to talk about,” Kimberly, 37, tells PEOPLE. “We wait so long to tell people that we are pregnantso the possibility of miscarriagehas decreased. But in the meantime, you’re tired, you need help and you’re going through one of the wildest times of your life.”
Jillian Goulding Photography
For James, who wed Kimberly in 2010, “even the way the word gets placed in a sentence” is wrong.
” ‘She miscarried’ puts not even subtle blame on the mother, but in all but the most extreme cases, there isnothing the mother did or didn’t do,” says the star.
And mourning the loss, he feels, should be part of the recovery process. “It’s a natural reaction to reason your way out of pain,” says James. “Especially for guys. But I want to encourage people to give themselves space to grieve the loss of that expectation, of that dream. You can support each other.”
Now, the actor is more grateful than ever for the opportunity to expand his family once again.
“We have watched our lives change with each kid,” says James. “We’ve watched opportunities grow, and we’ve seen the positive effect it’s had on our other kids. And theadded love brought into the houselights everybody up in a way that is kind of undeniable.”
For more from James and Kimberly Van Der Beek, pick up the latest issue ofPEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.
source: people.com
