Alphie The “Educational” Robot

On Christmas Day in 1978 , Kid across the U.S. unwrapped Alphie and triumph , " Wow ! Cool ! A robot of my very own ! " unluckily , however , Alphie was n’t equipped with lasers , missiles , or nuclear death ray . In fact , he could n’t even move . He only had a few blink red ignitor and a blatty melodic flavor that farted out " London Bridge Is Falling Down . " But Playskool suckered parent into have this for their kids by calling it " educational . "

In a day and old age when Sesame Street rule the air and toys were marketed as “ enriching and learning , ” Alphie was educational in the elbow room white simoleons was “ filled with vitamins . ” Armed with plastic game add-in , Alphie allegedly could teach you math , computer storage skills , and some language basics . But all he was really good for was playing “ Claire De Lune ” over and over so you could drive your parent crazy .

He was sadly retired when Alphie II came out in the 1980s , but the new model sucked heavily than the old one , and he was banished to the deep break of attics and basements across America . Alphie , I jazz you ’re somewhere in my parent ’s house in Texas . When I find you we ’ll see who gets schooled then , grouse .

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