With C - lister plow like Ant - Man and Aquaman starring in their own movies , it feels like every superhero , no matter how apart , is headed for wide - ranging renown . But nothing could be further from the truth : There are hundreds of weird , silent , preposterous , and just plainly frightening superheroes who have appeared in print before melt into the cultural abyss , an abysm from which they ’ve been rescued by comic strip scholar Jon Morris in his fantastic Modern bookThe League of Regrettable Superheroes . This book is the blooper reel of superhero comics .
Despite the rubric , you could tell Morris loves all these characters , and who would n’t ? flop or not , they are colored and risible piece of comic story . Still , no matter how bloated the membership of the Avengers find , it will never include the following kinfolk .
1. Doll Man
Ant - Man is a human dynamo compared to Golden Age hero Doll Man , who could n’t control pismire or do anything except head-shrinker to the size of it of a doll . The “ World ’s Mightiest Mite ” was more adorable than unvanquishable , especially when riding his Wonder Dog Elmo to the rescue .
2. The Eye
With a name like The Eye , you ’d expect a Cyclops - type paladin — or perhaps someone with a in particular good eye for crime . Nope . This hero who debut in 1939 was literally a prominent , floating eyeball who crusade crime with supernatural king .
3. Doctor Hormone
No , Doc Hormone is not the greatest enemy ( or ally ) of the Teen Titans . Rather , Dr. Hormone ( his factual name ) was a scientist who fought evil and played god by become babies into adult , old people into young people , and unconstipated folk into animal - human hybrids via hormonology . Holy hormonal hijinks , Batman !
4. Fatman the Human Flying Saucer
After plump Van Crawford stumbles upon a crashed flight saucer that was in reality a build - shifting foreigner , he gather the same powerfulness , becoming decidedly the greatest positive - size manful superhero who can transfer into a quick saucer . You ’re not going to believe this , but Fatman ’s publishing house Lightning Comics could n’t persist in business for more than a few calendar month .
5. Funnyman
One of the subplots of Morris ’ book is that even legendary comic strip Jehovah like Stan Lee , Jack Kirby , and Steve Ditko make some stinkers . The guy who lead off it all — Supermancreators Jerry Siegel and Joel Shuster — create Funnyman , a comedic crimefighter who debut in 1948 and promptly go nowhere . Or perhaps he retreated back to his “ Funny Manor , ” a poor fill-in for the Batcave or Fortress of Solitude .
6. The Ferret
With its foul stench and taste for theft , the ferret would seem to be a secure role model for villains , but this yellow - cap crusader crusade mobster and other outlaw in his brief 1942 appearance . The Ferret was revived in the 1990s as a hero typical of that epoch : grim and violent to the point of fatuity . He also had claws that were a transparent rent - off of Wolverine .
7. Squirrel Girl
This bushy - tailed heroine — who once bring down Dr. Doom in a crushing puff to anyone who take their comics a little too in earnest — is a majuscule example of how any fictional character can thrive with the right Creator . This humourous variation has been used sporadically since her 1992 debut , but she lately land her ownseries , which has been a breath of brisk air in the all - too - often self - serious world of comics .
8. U.S. 1
Many of the regrettable fighter pick up by Morris are from the Golden and Silver Ages of strip , a far-off meter encompassing 1938 - 1969 . But some are more late , and I felt the sting of shame when I realize one of these heroes was in my own collection : U.S. 1 , a colossally stupid trucker / submarine sandwich based on an aborted plaything business . Why did unseasoned me need this comedian ? Maybe I identified with Ulysses Solomon Archer and his metallic element skull that picked up C.B. and earmark him to control his swindle telepathically . Or maybe I was just an idiot .
